Advice for the Unsure DancerDec 09, 2021
BY TERRY HYDE, PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND COUNSELLOR FOR DANCERS.
ADVICE FOR THE UNSURE DANCER
Throughout your career and general life, there will be times when you feel unsure of yourself. This is completely normal. However, when you find yourself feeling this way, there are certain actions you should take to help you overcome the uncertainty.
REMEMBER YOU ARE UNIQUE
A big culprit when it comes to feeling unsure or uncertain, occurs when people constantly compare themselves to others. As the dance world is so competitive it’s no surprise that people fall into this trap.
It can be easy to get swept up in how those around you are doing and accomplishing things, but remember, we all learn and achieve things at our own pace. Someone may possess a skill you don’t have, or someone may be getting more opportunities, but keep it noted that your time will come, and your success will fall into place when it needs to. Although you may compare yourself and wish you had some qualities of others, there are skills and characteristics you possess which are unique to you. Therefore, keep going and the roles that match your skillset will come along.
STOP NEGATIVE SELF TALK
If your uncertainty is stemming from internal negative self-talk, put a stop to it. Instead of letting your thoughts spiral you downwards, start listing all the positive things about yourself instead. Don’t forget that you are your own harshest critic. If you find your thoughts unconsciously drifting to the negative side frequently, then it’s time to work on balancing your thought processes. Don’t put yourself down if you don’t pick up a routine as quick as others, or if you have an unsuccessful audition. Use every moment as a learning process and understand that everything happens for a reason.
DON’T SUPPRESS FEELINGS
Feeling unsure of yourself comes with a ton of negative feelings. It can be a common practice to suppress these feelings instead of dealing with them. This is never the answer, because if you don’t address that feeling, it will most likely come back to haunt you later.
When you do start addressing these feelings, you need to be honest with yourself. Why are you feeling that way? Is there something you need to change? You may be surprised by the answer.
Remember that you are the most important person in your life and that you need to dedicate plenty of time for yourself. When you don’t take care of yourself properly, this can lead to both poor physical, mental, and emotional health.
Take time for yourself to relax, do the things you love, and spend time with the people you love. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. And if someone suggests doing something that you feel unsure about, then there’s probably a reason behind that feeling and you should investigate why you feel unsure before you say yes.
Overall, being unsure of yourself from time to time is a normal part of being human. And when these feelings arise, it’s important that you remind yourself that you are a unique and amazing human being. If you want to prevent these thoughts from reoccurring, you need to work on your self-care, and addressing your feelings properly. Before you know it, you’ll be feeling surer of yourself than ever before!
© Terry Hyde 2021
Bio: Terry Hyde is a psychotherapist and counsellor for dancers.
Terry started dancing aged 6, won a 5 year scholarship to the RAD aged 10. He attended the Royal Ballet’s Upper School, joining the Royal Ballet at age 18. To expand his character work, he joined London’s Festival Ballet (now ENB) as a soloist, playing roles such as, Dr Coppelius in Coppelia Sancho Panza in Don Quixote and The Headmistress in Graduation Ball.
On retiring from performing, Terry retrained as a psychotherapist attaining a Masters Degree in Psychotherapy & Healing Practice validated by Middlesex University in 2012.
After working with an ex-ballet dancer suffering with bipolar disorder, Terry recognized that there was a very special niche that he could fill within the world of dance. He’s now combined his two passions, dance and psychotherapy bringing his ‘insider knowledge’ about life as a dancer into the realm of counseling. He founded www.counsellingfordancers.com in 2017 and has been working to support the unique needs of dancers in relation to their mental health ever since.
Terry presents interactive Mental Health Self-Care Workshops for Dancers both in person and virtually. These proactive workshops are to help support dancers’ mental wellbeing, teaching them resilience and how to be mentally fit and emotionally strong.
He now offers one to one therapy sessions available via video-link worldwide.
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