The Day I Deleted My Book

Nov 19, 2020

There was a *tiny* incident that happened about two weeks ago that I haven’t told you about yet…. I deleted my book. Like, the whole thing.

In my attempt to clean up space on my Mac, I inadvertently deleted everything in my Dancer, 360° file except for images. After a week or more with various smart people trying to help locate the files in the hidden spaces of cyber-nowhere, it became clear that they were gone for good.

At first, I was in denial. This cannot be happening…! The files had to be somewhere! Then I was knocked on my derrière, hard. How could this be? My year-long, give-it-my-all project was deleted in an instant. I went into the bathroom and cried big, heavy tears.

Next (so glad I have “next” to tell you about!) came determination. Wait…there were emails with chapters attached for people to review - sure they were many edits ago, but at least there was something there. I set about scraping together whatever crumbs of my work I could find. Some chapters only exist in my hand-sketched outlines.

Dancer, this blog and this site are for you. YOU are my focus and my goal is to help you in your efforts to be your best dancer-self. So why this story about ME? Well, I am setting out in my book to write about having a growth mindset - how it is essential for 360° health. While deleting my book taught me so many lessons (Save often! Back up to another location!), perhaps the biggest lesson learned was the actual, freaking need to develop a growth mindset…I found myself smack-dab in the middle of needing to cultivate one. Could it be that this crummy mishap will forge me into a better writer of this book? While I feel like there is much time lost, which is painful for me as an efficiency-enthusiast, I know the second time through’s will be better than the first's.

Perhaps deleting my book (while SUPER painful) might be the best thing for my book.

Dancer, what is YOUR current “delete on accident”-challenge? What has thrown you for a loop recently? (COVID times can mean lots of those to choose from.) Whatever it is, Dancer, my hand is gently on your shoulder, telling you that it’s going to be alright. That it’s okay to have the wind knocked out of you and to have a pity party and cry your eyes out in the bathroom. Now, dry your face, blow your nose, and get. up.

What is it about failures and setbacks that forges us into stronger, better dancers (and humans in general)? I’m not sure, Dancer. But what I do know is that out a muddy sand granule can come a pearl, with enough pressure and time.

A very smart man and mentor of mine, Dr. Jeff Russell, always encourages me to “press on.” Press - I guess there is pressure in pressing on. Well, press on with this book, I shall, I know you will press on with your goals and dreams.

Whatever your setback is this week, allow time for tears and then get. back. up. because that setback is about to spring you forward into a place of greater strength, more resiliency and a bigger impact in this world.



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